I would begin this post with a distressed, "Where to begin!" Thankfully I'm giving my take on Genesis, so the beginning is built in with this one. I'll just dive right in.
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1:3 And God said "Let there be light," and there was light.
However:
1:14-1:19 (This is where God creates the sun, moon, and stars)
How can there be light on the first day if the sun was not even created until the fourth day? Shouldn't the fourth day actually be the first day? Up until that point in time he'd have no natural showing of day and night because there was no sun or moon. Was it an educated guess? To separate one day from the next there has to be a natural cycle of the sun rising, and then setting with the moon rising, and the moon setting with the sun rising to bring about day 2. None of this could have happened.
1:27 Male and Female, he created them.
Notice that man and woman were created at the SAME TIME here.
And:
1:28 "Be fruitful and increase in number."
There's no mention of marriage between the two before they were on their way to procreate. This lends to my idea that marriage is NOT a biblical institution. In fact, marriage was used for personal gain during the way-back-whens (think dowry).
2:4-2:25 A quick run-down of what happened here is that the Earth was barren, then God created man (Adam), then a garden (Eden) was placed there so man could tend it. After that, God decided that Adam needed a helper so he created animals. Since Adam did not find a suitable helper amongst the animals, God used one of Adam's ribs to create woman (Eve).
Notice anything? Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 contain two DIFFERENT creation myths, back to back! Was there no editor-in-chief assigned to the task of quality control for this book? Which one should the believers follow? Or are they so engulfed in their belief system that they fail to see the inconsistencies? Growing up (non-theist) I had only ever heard the myth of Eve coming from Adam's rib. But now hold on: There's TWO stories? The first two chapters of Genesis was enough to make me start questioning the content of this book immediately.
3:1 The "Serpent" is mentioned.
Nowhere in the text is the Serpent referred to as Satan. It's a trickster. Never is it even portrayed as evil. It simply coaxes Eve into doing something she had been told not to do.
3:17 "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I had commanded you . . ."
Eve never MADE Adam do anything. She had taken her bite and kindly offered her husband a bite, which he accepted without a fight. Proven in 3:6 with, "She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it." I see no sign of struggle there.
4:3-4:5 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the first born of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
How could the Lord look so unkindly on a man doing his best to make offerings to his God. Did Abel's taste better? Did God not like fruit or vegetables? Was it an acid reflux thing that made God look down on Cain with such disdain? Both men sought to please a God that they feared, respected, and loved. Why was one so favored over the other?
Here's something I found very interesting, and I'm thankful the Bible gave me its 'specifics.'
In chapter 5 we are given the age at death of many people--
5: Adam (930yrs), Seth (912yrs), Enosh (905yrs), Kenan (910yrs), Mahalalel (895yrs), Jared (962), Enoch (365yrs), Methuselah (969yrs), Lamech (777yrs), and Noah (950yrs).
I hope you're seeing what I'm seeing here. Ridiculous, right?
6:3 "My spirit will not contend with man forever . . . his days will be a hundred and twenty."
So what's being said here is basically, "Hey. I'm the immortal one around here. You are all living too long, and to live a life that long brings you close to me. So, uh, we'll take care of that."
And onto one of my FAVORITE parts . . .
(drumroll)
Noah and the Ark!
Here are the exact ark specifications as given in the Bible:
6:15 450ft long, 75ft wide, 45ft high.
Really? Shouldn't Noah have glanced skyward and said something like, "You seriously think I can fit everything you want me to fit on there? Why don't you just pack lighter. KTHX."
Now that you have the specs of the ark, here are two different commands given to Noah by God as to what should be brought aboard the ship:
6:15-6:22 (Condensed, and not word-for-word) The Ark would need to hold Noah, his three sons, his wife, his sons' wives, two of every animal and food enough for everyone and everything.
But in chapter seven we get:
7:1-7:13 "Take with you seven of every kind of clean animal, a male and its mate, and two of every kind of unclean animal, a male and its mate, and also seven of every kind of bird, male and female, to keep their various kinds alive throughout the earth."
Those are two entirely different commands, and both as equally impossible. Plus, why not save the fish? Didn't he want a re-do on the fish as well? Or do fish carry no sin? Also, keep in mind that Noah was 600 years old when the Ark was built. Hmm . . .
After the flood, God spoke to Noah and said:
8:21 "Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done. As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease."
Why even read the rest of the Bible? (Though I am) Right here God promises that he'd never wipe out humanity again. Ta-da. The end. Right?
So that's my take so far. Please feel free to comment, question, or challenge.