A total lack of respect.

My ex-husband takes our four kids for visitations every other weekend, and every Wednesday for a few hours. Before I get into anything, here's a little bit of background:

My ex-husband and I are (were, in his case) atheists/freethinkers. We didn't believe there was a God, and raised our children in a secular household. They were never brought to church or told there was a higher power, etc. We had agreed to let them find their own path, whatever that path may be.

Since the divorce, my ex-husband had decided that he's now a devout follower of Jesus. Good for him (and I don't mean that with sarcasm). But since he's made that decision, he's harassed our children. My children are made to listen to anti-evolution talk, talk about Jesus and God, and they are not allowed to offer a retort. They have to listen, but then aren't allowed to ask any questions or add to the conversation. When they explained that they were interviewed by a skeptic's podcast about their beliefs in God/Santa/Tooth Fairy, their aunt was so shocked she exclaimed in front of my kids, "That makes me need a cigarette!" One great lesson (listen, but don't speak for yourself) to another (I'm angry, so I'll smoke).

I have raised my children from day one to think for themselves. I want them to explore things on their own time. If they want to experience a church, we'll discuss denominations and I'll take them. If they want to learn about a foreign religion, we'll discuss them at length and them go to a service. I would never keep my kids from life experiences, nor would I make them believe what I believe, simply because I believe it. I want them to have many experiences, have lots of questions, and come to a conclusion that's right for them. What they experience at my ex-in law's house is sheer harassment. The best part is, however, he doesn't even get his religious 'facts' correct! Ahh. Awesome.

What to do? We had agreed to raise the kids to be rational freethinkers. Now, because he's had some great revelation for himself, he's forcing it upon them. There has to be some action I can take against this. If they want to ask him questions, great. If they want him to take them to church sometime, great. I want it to continue to be their decision, and he wants to indoctrinate them. Sigh.

Be good for goodness' sake.

I don't know how many times I've been accused of raising children with no moral compass. The reason? Because we don't subscribe to a religion. Apparently the only way to lead a moral life is to believe in an invisible deity and read a book written by men thousands of years ago.

I found a great article on morality and godless parenting:

http://atheism.about.com/od/atheistschildren/a/KidsReligion.htm

The chicken and the egg.

When I heard that a farm* would be bringing animals to my daughter's school, I thought she'd have a wonderful time. After all, kids do tend to love learning new things, especially in a hands-on kind of way. Never did I think the day would progress as it did.

I received a call from a friend of mine who has a child who went to the morning session of the farm presentation. She said that the woman teaching the class said that "God put the yolk into the egg for the baby chick to eat," and that "Chickens must be married before they have eggs."

I believe a rather vibrant WTF?! is appropriate here.

Keep in mind this is a public school. I am not opposed to my kids being curious about religion or wanting to explore one or many, but it's inappropriate for this to be said in a public school. I called the principal immediately who said that he hadn't heard anything about it, and he was sure I'd made some kind of mistake. Surely one of his teachers would have come to him and told him that such a thing was said. In what I believe was an attempt to placate me he said he would investigate this and call me back.

No more than five minutes later I received a voicemail from said principal saying something to the effect of, "Mrs. ________, I am SO sorry. That was indeed said. I spoke to the woman teaching the class and she admitted to having taught that. Rest assured that the afternoon class will NOT be hearing this, and that this group will never be invited back to this school."

Wow. I honestly hadn't expected that. The principal sat in on the afternoon session of the class and caught the woman as she started into the yolk-and-egg explanation, and he directed her to take a different course with that. Kudos to the principal for standing up and keeping unnecessary (and false) religious teachings out of public school.


*I have purposely omitted the name of this farm.